What is Domestic Violence?

• Physical violence, causing bodily harm.
• No person shall knowingly cause or attempt to cause physical harm to a family or household member.
• No person shall recklessly cause serious physical harm to a family or household member.
• No person by threat or force, knowingly cause a family or household member to believe that the offender will cause imminent physical harm to the family or household member.
• Person living as a spouse means living with or cohabiting with the offender within 5 years prior.
  

EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

• Death
• Injury
• Depression
• Disabilities
• Continued Violence/Risk
• Emotional Difficulties
• Family Breakup
• Lifelong Effects

EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON MEN

Men who are affected by Domestic Violence must wrestle with three central problems:

• Loss of control
• Denial
• Minimization of the violence and the tendency to be personally and socially isolated

EFFECTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ON WOMEN

Women affected by Domestic Violence must also deal with several problems and issues:

• Low self-esteem
• Abuse or neglect of their children
• Socially/Emotionally isolated - Withdraw
• Despondent or possessive
• Observed or been a child violence victim
• Drug/Alcohol Abuse
• Have not learned acceptable ways to resolve disputes

THE CYCLE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Phase 1 - Tension Building
Tension begins to mount as the abusive partner increases his threats of violence, often calling the woman names and pushing or shoving her around. During this phase, the abused woman often will make increasing efforts to please the abuser or calm him down. Usually though, her efforts to prevent the battering are useless and only serve to postpone the violence.

Impending violence is almost guaranteed – and the cycle of denial begins.

Phase 2 - Act of Violence
Violence erupts as the abuser throws objects at this partner, hits, slaps, kicks, chokes or beats her with his fists; abuses her sexually; or uses weapons, such as belts, sticks, knives, or guns.

Women will often be in denial of their partner's responsibility for what is happening.

Phase 3 - Honeymoon
The abuser apologizes, often excessively, and expresses guilt and shame. He promises the violent behavior will not happen again; he often buys his partner gifts. Sometimes the abuser will minimize the violence or blame it on the woman, saying it never would have happened if she hadn't said or done something to make him angry.

Denial by the Women often live in denial of the severity of abuse and reality of future abuse.

Power, Control and Violence

• Using Coercion and threats (To leave, Commit suicide, making victim drop charges)
• Using intimidation (Abusing things, pets, displaying weapons)
• Using Emotional Abuse (Put downs, name calling, mind games, making feel guilty)
• Using Isolation (Controlling-friends, conversations, activities, jealousy)
• Minimizing, Denying, Blaming (Making light, not serious, saying "didn't happen!")
• Using Children (Feel guilty, using children for messages, harassing during visitation, threats to take the children)
• Using Male Privilege (Treat like a servant, define roles - "king of the roost")
• Using Economic Abuse (Keep spouse from getting or keeping a job, make victim ask for $, not letting spouse know of income or have access)

Developing A Safety Plan

• Once abuse starts, it most likely will get worse. Plan, protect yourself and your children... be wise. Keep resources and basic needs ready and in a safe place: birth certificates, I.D., driver's license, money, bank data, keys, clothes, important things. Plan - safety first. Determine confidants, support system. Think of school issues, transportation, tracking issues, and the time to go. Remember - Safety first - "what if"
  
  
• Document, call police
  
  
• If unsafe, leave now
  
  
• If abuser is in jail, don't rely on safety. They may be released.
  
  
• Leaving may escalate danger/risk.
  
  
• Change patterns and places if you leave.
  
  
• Life is so precious; we won't ever experience this second again.
  
  
• Call The Victim Assistance Program. We care. We'll help you plan.

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